i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
