There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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