She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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