Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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