theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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