Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
