erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
