I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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