i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I deserve this hangover.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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