how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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