at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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