His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I need water and some morals
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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