I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
