I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
