I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
