somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
