I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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