dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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