Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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