you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
