i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize