Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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