he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize