I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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