I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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