i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He did a backflip because drugs
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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