How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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