I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
