I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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