Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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