i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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