Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I will pee on everything he values.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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