i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
