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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Edward fifth and chaser hands

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place

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• (845): View more from New York

  The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable

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