Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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(214): View more from Texas

so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat

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(425): View more from Washington

My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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(425): View more from Washington

Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.

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