Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children