i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer