Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.

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(216): View more from Ohio

when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

(1-216): View more from Ohio

damn...impressive bar tab

(216): View more from Ohio

no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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(770): View more from Georgia

she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.

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(716): View more from New York

the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

ugh yes i love our date nights

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(928): View more from Arizona

On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?

(1-913): View more from Kansas

Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....

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(607): View more from New York

IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.

(1-607): View more from New York

You're such a supportive sister.

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