dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
