So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.