you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
