If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
