Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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