Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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