yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
