I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
