Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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