You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i dont even know how to be here
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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