i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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