no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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