whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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