I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
