So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
