im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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