shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
