He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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