Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
