I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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