Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
