And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
