you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
