How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
