I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
