Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
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If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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