Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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