God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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