At least make sure they are 18
Why
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
