very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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